35th Anniversary

So, now we are on year 36.  There’s a certain comfort in staying married that feels good.  Our wedding was on Dave’s parents’ 37th anniversary.  Their 35th had included a huge party at the farm, complete with roasted pig, of course.  I missed that, since Dave and I met in February of their 37th year and got married in August of the same, but I have seen the photos and heard the stories and managed to get in on a few other farm events.  We even had a pig roasted for Luke and Ani’s wedding feast.

I went to Colorado and saw the mountains and rode the horses with Dave for our 35th celebration.  (Actually, I rode horses once with Dave and once with others….strangers…..and I think Dave owes me for that one!  He probably doesn’t, though.)  We took a long walk up a mountain and sat in the steambath and and planned and considered and weighed options.  After three days, we settled in on plan.  Now, Dave is free to enjoy the mountains and the horses without distraction from opportunities.

Recently, a new friend quizzed me a bit about Dave.  Out here in PA, no one knows Dave and just have to take my word that I have a husband.  It was nice to have someone ask questions about my husband and our relationship.  Sitting on the deck with roasted chicken and a glass of wine, it was good to consider how I would describe our marriage to someone who told me she “doesn’t know much about evangelical Christianity.” 

Dave and I are comfortable with one another.  We have deep respect and trust for one another.  We are truly connected and going forward together to a future that is full of hope…and reality.  I like having someone know me so well that when I describe something that happens to me, Dave puts it into a perspective that knows what else I have experienced.  Though we are able to be apart right now, we miss each other.  Though no one should describe our relationship as romantic, we love each other.  Though we have weathered much challenge and disappointment in the past 35 years, we are committed to one another and our marriage and are happy to be together.

Sticking together is the point.  My mother-in-law, Aletha, used to write us letters and describe evenings when she and Paul would sit by the fire with their cat, Big Sur, in their laps.  No one in the family really believed her, since no one had ever seen her sit still for more than 5 minutes.  I don’t ever remember seeing her and Paul being affectionate with one another.  But, I understand that with kids out of the house, with farm responsibilties lessened, and with many years of sticking together, they had a familiarity that afforded some nice nights in front of the fire.

I’m glad to have gone to Colorado, even though it was expensive and I don’t really get that Rocky Mountain high from the mountains like my husband does.  I’m glad to have been a good sport and to have worked hard and gotten dusty participating in my husband’s cowboy job.  I’m glad we have stuck together and have another who knows all the experiences of the past 35 years so that we can go together strong into the 36th.

Postscript:  I don’t have photos of the trip.  Just like on our backpacking honeymoon to the mountains, Dave takes pictures of mountains, not people.