Going to the Mountains

I have the flight reservation.  I didn’t get the “name your own price” on the rental car (yet), but I’m working on it.  I am lining up resources for Joel while I’m gone.  I have rearranged commitments in my job.  I’m going to Colorado for a long weekend.  Amazing…not that I am going to stay in a cabin with no plumbing or electricity very near the site of our honeymoon backpacking trip, but amazing that 35 years has gone by and now is as good, maybe better, than it has ever been.

I was not sure I was going to go to Colorado.  It is a long trip.  Four hours on a plane and then at least two hours in a rental car.  I mentioned the conveniences that will be missing.  If I was concerned about the expense before, now that I planned it only two weeks in advance, the cost is even more.  I am in a relatively new position and taking a long weekend away could seem frivolous.  And, most important, while Joel is more than willing to have me go, I have to be concerned about leaving him alone in a new place.  But, bottom line, this is a way to express to my husband of many years that he is still the most important human relationship I have. 

I feel like I have less time in Pennsylvania than I had in Illinois.  I keep the same basic schedule, but it feels like less.  I think I feel like I have less time because I have to do more stuff.  There is no shared burden here….I pay the bills, I hang the pictures, I install the blinds and choose the drapes, I take the garbage out, I do the laundry, I fill the car up, I manage the bank accounts, I do the paperwork for Joel’s benefits, I replace the lightbulbs, in the house and for the headlight of my car, I shop for groceries and prepare meals….There are a lot of menial tasks that I am used to sharing and now, for them to get done, I do them.  I have been aware, in the past, of Dave’s love language of “acts of service.”  He does a lot when he is around.  I will appreciate them more when he returns.  It’s nice to miss my husband in terms of ways he shows love in a daily, practical way. 

Sharing life is what marriage is all about.  Whether it is sharing the work load or sharing experiences, sharing responsibility or sharing our bed, giving and receiving is the crux.  Dave is going to be here in October to share my new life.  He will learn to find his way to lower Bucks on Swamp Road, just like I have.  He will meet the people I have met.  He will come to the shore and try water ice and ride the train to Shea and see the Cubs play at Citizens Bank Park and take Joel to eat at the Other Side and work out at the same YMCA I do. 

I should go and share Dave’s beautiful mountain morning sunrises and horse rides into the Sangres.  I look forward to experiencing West Cliffe’s western flavor and hearing the story one more time of the cowboy on horseback who road into town looking for a shot of whiskey.  I want to share the sadness of the exact spot of the lightening storm and I want to meet the people who wrangle horses and guide packing trips with him.  It is important that Dave get to share his mountains and his cowboy life with me.  I’m going to the mountains next week.