Going to the Mountains

I have the flight reservation.  I didn’t get the “name your own price” on the rental car (yet), but I’m working on it.  I am lining up resources for Joel while I’m gone.  I have rearranged commitments in my job.  I’m going to Colorado for a long weekend.  Amazing…not that I am going to stay in a cabin with no plumbing or electricity very near the site of our honeymoon backpacking trip, but amazing that 35 years has gone by and now is as good, maybe better, than it has ever been.

I was not sure I was going to go to Colorado.  It is a long trip.  Four hours on a plane and then at least two hours in a rental car.  I mentioned the conveniences that will be missing.  If I was concerned about the expense before, now that I planned it only two weeks in advance, the cost is even more.  I am in a relatively new position and taking a long weekend away could seem frivolous.  And, most important, while Joel is more than willing to have me go, I have to be concerned about leaving him alone in a new place.  But, bottom line, this is a way to express to my husband of many years that he is still the most important human relationship I have. 

I feel like I have less time in Pennsylvania than I had in Illinois.  I keep the same basic schedule, but it feels like less.  I think I feel like I have less time because I have to do more stuff.  There is no shared burden here….I pay the bills, I hang the pictures, I install the blinds and choose the drapes, I take the garbage out, I do the laundry, I fill the car up, I manage the bank accounts, I do the paperwork for Joel’s benefits, I replace the lightbulbs, in the house and for the headlight of my car, I shop for groceries and prepare meals….There are a lot of menial tasks that I am used to sharing and now, for them to get done, I do them.  I have been aware, in the past, of Dave’s love language of “acts of service.”  He does a lot when he is around.  I will appreciate them more when he returns.  It’s nice to miss my husband in terms of ways he shows love in a daily, practical way. 

Sharing life is what marriage is all about.  Whether it is sharing the work load or sharing experiences, sharing responsibility or sharing our bed, giving and receiving is the crux.  Dave is going to be here in October to share my new life.  He will learn to find his way to lower Bucks on Swamp Road, just like I have.  He will meet the people I have met.  He will come to the shore and try water ice and ride the train to Shea and see the Cubs play at Citizens Bank Park and take Joel to eat at the Other Side and work out at the same YMCA I do. 

I should go and share Dave’s beautiful mountain morning sunrises and horse rides into the Sangres.  I look forward to experiencing West Cliffe’s western flavor and hearing the story one more time of the cowboy on horseback who road into town looking for a shot of whiskey.  I want to share the sadness of the exact spot of the lightening storm and I want to meet the people who wrangle horses and guide packing trips with him.  It is important that Dave get to share his mountains and his cowboy life with me.  I’m going to the mountains next week.

Ponderings

If it is really true that 90% of our success is mindset. 

And, if it is really true that we are wired to have personality and behavioral tendencies from conception.

And, if it is really true that God is in control and loves us and gives us exactly the experiences and circumstances that He knows are best for us to be able to bring Him glory with our lives.

Then, there is an amazing internal and eternal work going on in the lives of Dave and Debbie Hensleigh.

I reminds me of a time back in 1977, when we had just confirmed that Luke was in utero and I was understanding spiritual growth in a new and transforming way.  I am very aware of a work of the Spirit in the deepest recesses of my heart.  I look the same on the outside, but on the inside, I am different. 

I think differently.  I know myself in a more defined and clear way.  I see freshly that God has made me and claimed me and designed me for His own specific reasons.  On purpose for a purpose.  Just as I have believed and known up to this point–now I am growing more convinced daily.

From my distant and removed perspective, I see the same happening with Dave.  

Tonight, after interactions at work, watching Lifechurch’s first movie message, and watching my very first Beth Moore Bible study, several things are crystal clear to me.  Mostly, that God is not done with us.  This time is good for us to see and consider and clarify.  He is in control.  He has the plan.  We want no other.

Pondering is good for the soul.  These are good days of pondering.  Tonight, this is what has floated to the surface of my pondering….”If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.”

Even though I miss my husband

Three day weekends are awesome!  Yesterday was like a Saturday, tomorrow will be Sunday, so today, the day after July 4th and an “extra” day, is like an unexpected gift.  Even though I miss Dave and wish he were here to go with Joel and me to a Phillies/Mets game tonight, it is a good day.

This morning, since I have these extra hours that are wonderful and quiet, I have been online.  I usually just use the internet for basic, quick information.  I’m good with googling words (like frass) that are new to me (carpenter ants at my office).  I have learned to prefer Googlemaps over Mapquest for directions (even in Bucks county).  Finding my way to wordpress and my husband’s blogs and looking up the value of the a house Isaac is looking at in Phoenix on zillow (not really a reliable source of actual value, by the way) are second nature.  This morning with extra time, I have learned that I was probably right last night at a new friends’ garden in my diagnosis of deer eating the tops off their tomato plants (and if the whole family will go out and pee in the yard, it is a good, organic way to ward off the culprits).  

But, with extra time today, I found a friend’s blog I didn’t know existed.  That led me to a podcast by Patrick Lencioni on Catalyst, which I will find more about later.  I’m reading “Death by Meeting”  right now, so was completely interested in the very organic and personal interview.  Lencioni has a new book out and I will read it.  But his sidebar discussion on the Law of Thirds  was succinct and practical….in fact, will be very practical for me to use this next week.  Lencioni’s unbiased perspective on the scariness of the lack of leadership in all (Hillary was included) of the Presidential candidates was chilling.   I have no idea at this point of how to link that podcast with this post (the next time I have surprise extra time, maybe that will be my learning of the day), but you can probably find it.  Try googling “Catalyst” and search for Lencioni?  Let me know if that works!  (thanks, bill for the convenient link at your site.)

So, the thoughts from that podcast and the reading I am doing and the introspection resulting from my post last Sunday have me in a very sound place, mentally, this morning.  I have a purpose, I have goals, I have gifts and skills and a unique ability that I am understanding and defining.  I am in an environment that I am beginning to trust enough to shed insecurities that in the past have held me back from contributing all that I have to offer.  This week has brought offers of relationship, inquiries for service, ideas for contribution to others’ success, opportunities to invest in the eternal nature of people around me.  Mindset is pretty much everything.  Circumstances are thin.  Time passes.  Things change. 

A solid base for world view and reason to live is all I need to make a huge difference right where I am….even though I miss my husband.